A LITTLE MORE POWDERED EGG? is a romantic and lyrical revue of war songs touring retirement homes all over the UK. Never Too Old For A Nappy Productions is producing this ever popular show and looking for singers and dancers of all ages, willing to raise a smile, a jaunty jig or at least a little REM from the senior citizens of the UK.
The budget is tiny on this one, so ideally they are looking for an ensemble of four actors with naturally pillar box red lips, or shiny Bryll creamed side partings. Songs include such well known war anthems as “I'll 'ave you Maisy Day”, “A Clip on the 'ead (never did me no 'arm)”, “Is Your Chin is Up Mr Sunshine!” And of course the unforgettable ditty “Dulce Et Decorum Est” by Wilfred Owen. Applicants must have clean driving licenses and be prepared to not only drive, do get ins and get outs, but also possibly direct and produce the show. Send all applications by the week's end to the usual address.
Thursday, 18 March 2010
CPR Update March 2010
Film
James Cameron is in preproduction for AVATAR 2: BLUE HAIR DAY. We'll let you know when we receive a breakdown, so plenty of time to see the film in the meantime.
Fresh from winning her Oscar, Kathryn Bigelow is probably doing ANOTHER FILM sometime soon. No details as yet, but you can trust CPR to get you the breakdown as soon as it's available. In the meantime, plenty of time to see her previous film POINT BREAK starring Patrick Swayze and Keanu Reeves, which we hope to have a breakdown for by the end of the year.
Television
Bob Hogmonay (50's) – Loveable eccentric local who will get away with anything if he can! He is the foil to the uptight police inspector and is often coming up with harebrained schemes to make money. With his catchphrase “It ain't easy bein' this handsome!” he is often seen driving around in a converted tin bath causing smiles wherever he goes. In a stunning twist however, it turns out that Bob has fathered 80% of the village children which makes things rather uncomfortable for everybody.
Student Film
Need help with your career? Former actor Mark Diddy is running a casting workshop on how to get noticed by the profession. CPR sent it's own roving reporter to catch up with Mark at his house in Edgbaston.
“The thing...” says Mark Diddy, pausing and looking out of the window at a passing traffic warden “The thing about actors is... they don't know how to market themselves.”
Mark's course will be held in his living room in Edgbaston. Courses can be booked through his website.
Fringe Theatre
Head for Heights Productions are casting their latest site specific twist on the bard in Hamlet at Twenty Five Feet. Artistic Director Henry Mule feels like this production will be special.
James Cameron is in preproduction for AVATAR 2: BLUE HAIR DAY. We'll let you know when we receive a breakdown, so plenty of time to see the film in the meantime.
Fresh from winning her Oscar, Kathryn Bigelow is probably doing ANOTHER FILM sometime soon. No details as yet, but you can trust CPR to get you the breakdown as soon as it's available. In the meantime, plenty of time to see her previous film POINT BREAK starring Patrick Swayze and Keanu Reeves, which we hope to have a breakdown for by the end of the year.
Television
Pam Ferris and Penelope Keith return as amateur sleuths in the fictional village of Tenna-by-the-Sea in the next series of ITV 1's cozy flagship sunday night drama THE TENNA LADIES. The series will feature 14 episodes. Casting director Susie Puffin is looking for the following parts only.
Stacy Leech (30's-40's) – Vampish suspect. Stacy killed her aged neighbour by playing fiendish mind games and confusing practical jokes until he literally kicks himself to death with his own feet.
Inspector Tackle (60's) – Previously played by Brian Cox, this part is being recast due to creative differences. Close to retirement, Inspector Tackle spends his days solving petty crimes like missing kittens or fences blowing down due to the inclement weather. Regular viewers may remember the climax of the last series when his toupee blew off while he was reading his father's eulogy. However he has a dark secret, and it's not just that he loves Eurovision band Scooch.
Bob Hogmonay (50's) – Loveable eccentric local who will get away with anything if he can! He is the foil to the uptight police inspector and is often coming up with harebrained schemes to make money. With his catchphrase “It ain't easy bein' this handsome!” he is often seen driving around in a converted tin bath causing smiles wherever he goes. In a stunning twist however, it turns out that Bob has fathered 80% of the village children which makes things rather uncomfortable for everybody.
Please send CVs and photographs to Susie at her usual address.
Student Film
BLOODSPORT is a high concept student film being filmed in the Summer. Olly Sponze is the guffawing writer and director who will more than likely find himself out of his depth on the day of the shoot when he discovers there's more to directing than drawing a few stick figures as preproduction and having read The Guerilla Filmakers Handbook. His disappointment at having gotten into several heated exchanges on Shooting People will pale in comparison to the disorientation he'll endure when somebody has the gall to ask him about character. The day will be spent by Olly wishing everybody could hurry up and just film the slow motion muzzle flare montage bit, or the moment there's a three way Mexican stand-off he was so proud of in the script. Sandwiches and copy are supplied, but the copy probably won't turn up.
Commercial
Susie Paraffin is casting a commercial for The Harley Clinic. The commercial will run in UK cinemas and will promote their plastic surgery clinic. The breakdown is quite specific. She is looking for people with at least 2 of the following.
High foreheads
Beaky noses
Tiny teeth
Massive chins
Gerbil like cheeks
Googly eyes
Rounded shoulders
Freaky digits and/or a hoof
It's imperative that they cause absolute revulsion in the viewer by their inability to look even slightly normal. Susie has specifed she is looking for people who make you think of creepy, discordant circus music when you look at them. They must also have bags of confidence - no wallflowers please. Must be able to macarena convincingly.
Need help with your career? Former actor Mark Diddy is running a casting workshop on how to get noticed by the profession. CPR sent it's own roving reporter to catch up with Mark at his house in Edgbaston.
“The thing...” says Mark Diddy, pausing and looking out of the window at a passing traffic warden “The thing about actors is... they don't know how to market themselves.”
That's true! I thought, they don't! Tell me more Mark, please.
“A lot of them don't know about the Spotlight, for example. That's one of the many things you'll find out when you pay £150 for my morning course.”
I knew I was looking at a genius. Sure I knew about cameras and things, but Spotlight? I've never met an actor who has even heard of it.
Now in his early 40's he cuts a distinguised figure sitting there. Perhaps it was the way he had styled his beard. Perhaps it was the black and white shots behind him of himself when he played the Admiral for Admiral Insurance.
“I'll tell you another thing they don't know...” he said, a smile twitching, his eyes softening in the late afternoon light.“They don't know they've got to have a CV. And the good ones, yes, the good ones will attach the CV to the photograph. The really good ones will always do that. I foresee a wonderful future for people who do that.”
I was sold. Wild horses couldn't keep me away from knowledge like this.
I signed up immediately. But Mark had more. More knowledge. My heart pulsed a little faster.
“Did you know...?” he said, eyes unfocussed for a second, as if he were lost in a dream of beauty and power. “Did you know that you can get a professional to take your photo? I had one actor who came to me, he'd been sending out his 'homemade headshot'. He'd drawn it himself with pencil and coloured it in with poster paint. It's 2010! I screamed at him. We've moved on!”
Mark calms down a little. "Do you know who that actor was? The actor who owes me his career?"
I waited for an eternity.
"It was Ken Morley."
Mark's course will be held in his living room in Edgbaston. Courses can be booked through his website.
Fringe Theatre
Head for Heights Productions are casting their latest site specific twist on the bard in Hamlet at Twenty Five Feet. Artistic Director Henry Mule feels like this production will be special.
“We've managed to secure planning permission to suspend the actors from a bridge 25 feet over the M6 near junction 12. Drivers commuting back from work will get quite the view as our actors play out the fate of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, in safety harness, doublet and hose.”
Previous productions have involved Cat on a Hot Tin Roof with actors being suspended over a phone box in Gretna Green, Copenhagen above a hospital bed in Merton and The Pillowman above a pizza delivery bike in Hove. All parts are available for this spectacular, and it's imperative that the actors are happy to work for up to 16 hours a day. No pay.
Wednesday, 8 April 2009
Theatre
Marcus d'Couza is casting an experimental theatre piece he plans to take to this year's Edinburgh Festival. IRONY is a play which contains absolutely no irony whatsoever, making the entire thing ironically ironic.
"I want the audience to literally sit agog at the lack of irony, and thereby realise at the end of the production it has been totally ironic because of that" says Mr d'Couza.
Cast breakdown as follows.
Terry Ketchup - A dentist from Wyoming with a French accent. Must be able to juggle and sing to a top G. Pygmy skills and horse riding are important, but not totally necessary.
Meg Bench - A lawyer from Edinburgh. A psychotic murderer with a shockingly accurate sense of comic timing.
Michael Knight - A car driving freedom fighter living outside the law.
Jim Carter - The actor, Jim Carter.
"I want the audience to literally sit agog at the lack of irony, and thereby realise at the end of the production it has been totally ironic because of that" says Mr d'Couza.
Cast breakdown as follows.
Terry Ketchup - A dentist from Wyoming with a French accent. Must be able to juggle and sing to a top G. Pygmy skills and horse riding are important, but not totally necessary.
Meg Bench - A lawyer from Edinburgh. A psychotic murderer with a shockingly accurate sense of comic timing.
Michael Knight - A car driving freedom fighter living outside the law.
Jim Carter - The actor, Jim Carter.
Opportunity
It's that time of the year when filmmakers get to enter the RED BULL 1 LINE FILM COMPETITION. This year, as in previous years, budding filmmakers are challenged to make a film with only one line of dialogue, which must be spoken exactly 224 seconds into the running time.
Previous winners of the RED BULL 1 LINE FILM COMPETITION have gone on to direct Claims Direct adverts, Swiftcover adverts and Accident Helpline Direct adverts.
This year, entrants must construct a film around a single line of dialogue. The line is:
"I ain't seen it. I ain't seen it. What does it look like, some sort of chin?"
Copies of the final films should be sent to 1linefilmcomp@redbull.com
Good luck!
Previous winners of the RED BULL 1 LINE FILM COMPETITION have gone on to direct Claims Direct adverts, Swiftcover adverts and Accident Helpline Direct adverts.
This year, entrants must construct a film around a single line of dialogue. The line is:
"I ain't seen it. I ain't seen it. What does it look like, some sort of chin?"
Copies of the final films should be sent to 1linefilmcomp@redbull.com
Good luck!
Television
The BBC’s flagship drama WAKING THE DEAD is being reimagined as an ice spectacular in the long awaited WAKING THE DEAD…ON ICE. Please hold all contact until we can supply some details. In the meantime, plenty of time to catch up on the original series which is out on DVD.
There are also rumours of WAKING THE DEAD: THE AIR STUNT SHOW. We'll keep you posted.
There are also rumours of WAKING THE DEAD: THE AIR STUNT SHOW. We'll keep you posted.
Theatre
THE CAT THAT DID NOT BLINK is a hard hitting true story addressing the fears of ordinary people, when their family cat will suddenly fix it’s eyes on something you can’t see, making you assume there’s evil afoot.
However, in this heart warming story, a little boy called Tony decides to use this force for good, and enters his cat into the International No Blinking Staring Competition, kicking off an incredibly odyssey of discovery with very serious and dramatic consequences.
The production is being sponsored by Johnsons No More Tears Bubble Bath, so wages are Equity minimum.
Cast as follows:
Tony (7-9 years old) – We want to cast an older actor who can look convincingly like a 7 year old. This part really holds the story together, so must be a good actor with circus skills.
Tony (7-9 years old) – We want to cast an older actor who can look convincingly like a 7 year old. This part really holds the story together, so must be a good actor with circus skills.
Ian - Ian is the staring cat. We want to cast an actual cat for this role. Stage experiences is desirable but not necessary. Stage combat skills, and an appreciation of the finer things is life is a must however.
Edward "Eyeball" Tottington (70’s) – Edward is a staring world champion. Unchallenged for nearly 30 years he is beaten by Ian the staring cat and consequently throws himself in front of a speeding pony.
Mrs Foof – (30’s – 40’s). A woman with little ankles and a slightly overlarge head.
Mr Cart (80’s) – An old man with a hat and some post.
Sunday, 5 April 2009
Film
Pre production is underway on horror film SAW XII, from the makers of SAW's I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, and XI.
The Jigsaw Killer, again played by Tobin Bell is back from the dead after Detective Kenneth Dalgliesh (Tom Skerritt) finds a threatening note attached to a bit of beard in his lasagne. Things go from bad to worse, when he is captured and must play a potentially deadly game of cat and mouse with Jigsaw, for, terrifyingly, no reason whatsoever.
Locked in an abandoned gardening shed in Droitwich, Dalgleish's task is to eat himself , using only the plastic fork and the HP sauce provided by the psychotic genius of Jigsaw, if he wants to stay alive.
Lionsgate films are looking to cast one role only:
Big nosed girl - 20's. The girl has a pivotal scene where she looks up from her Sudoko to see Dalgliesh running towards her, naked, having eaten his own head.
Please send all correspondence for this role only to casting director Bergie Munchkeister at:
Lionsgate films,
Nr The Lion's Gate
Los Angeles Zoo
CA 90201
The Jigsaw Killer, again played by Tobin Bell is back from the dead after Detective Kenneth Dalgliesh (Tom Skerritt) finds a threatening note attached to a bit of beard in his lasagne. Things go from bad to worse, when he is captured and must play a potentially deadly game of cat and mouse with Jigsaw, for, terrifyingly, no reason whatsoever.
Locked in an abandoned gardening shed in Droitwich, Dalgleish's task is to eat himself , using only the plastic fork and the HP sauce provided by the psychotic genius of Jigsaw, if he wants to stay alive.
Lionsgate films are looking to cast one role only:
Big nosed girl - 20's. The girl has a pivotal scene where she looks up from her Sudoko to see Dalgliesh running towards her, naked, having eaten his own head.
Please send all correspondence for this role only to casting director Bergie Munchkeister at:
Lionsgate films,
Nr The Lion's Gate
Los Angeles Zoo
CA 90201
Theatre
Exciting developments at The ROYAL SHAKESPEARE COMPANY as they are currently casting their upcoming season. Plays will include Measure for Measure, Hamlet, Othello and The Winter's Tale.
Breaking from tradition, the RSC casting director is opening this up exclusively to readers of CPR.
We sent a CPR researcher along to find out why. He spoke to an RSC insider.
______________________
"Frankly," said the RSC insider, taking a sip of lemon tea with a sugar cube delicately balanced on the side of the cup, "we're always getting actors writing to us. So the way became clear. Readers of CPR tend to be very selective about submitting their details - they practically do our job for us!" She laughed daintily, and I couldn't help but guffaw too, flecking her crinoline with pieces of Ferrero Roche.
Later I spoke about the work of the company, but always she wanted to drag the conversation back to CPR. Clearly it's a publication on her mind.
"I once had a young actor who literally sent me an empty CV. Just a blank piece of paper with his name at the top. I thought, well, he reads CPR, let's give him a go. Do you know who that young actor was?"
I lent forward, intoxicated by her perfume and the mink scarf she had thrown over her shoulders in a way that made her look like some sort of Goddess.
"Who was it? I breathed, hardly able to look her in the eye for fear my heart would burst with love.
"It was Jake Gyllenhaal."
I was so awe struck I nearly choked on my Creme de Menthe.
__________________________________________________
They have specified that they're looking for any actors with any amount of skill, and any look. If you feel you're suitable, then please send all photographs and head shots to:
CPR Bin No 2
The Royal Shakespeare Company
Alton Towers
Staffordshire
ST10 4DB
Breaking from tradition, the RSC casting director is opening this up exclusively to readers of CPR.
We sent a CPR researcher along to find out why. He spoke to an RSC insider.
______________________
"Frankly," said the RSC insider, taking a sip of lemon tea with a sugar cube delicately balanced on the side of the cup, "we're always getting actors writing to us. So the way became clear. Readers of CPR tend to be very selective about submitting their details - they practically do our job for us!" She laughed daintily, and I couldn't help but guffaw too, flecking her crinoline with pieces of Ferrero Roche.
Later I spoke about the work of the company, but always she wanted to drag the conversation back to CPR. Clearly it's a publication on her mind.
"I once had a young actor who literally sent me an empty CV. Just a blank piece of paper with his name at the top. I thought, well, he reads CPR, let's give him a go. Do you know who that young actor was?"
I lent forward, intoxicated by her perfume and the mink scarf she had thrown over her shoulders in a way that made her look like some sort of Goddess.
"Who was it? I breathed, hardly able to look her in the eye for fear my heart would burst with love.
"It was Jake Gyllenhaal."
I was so awe struck I nearly choked on my Creme de Menthe.
__________________________________________________
They have specified that they're looking for any actors with any amount of skill, and any look. If you feel you're suitable, then please send all photographs and head shots to:
CPR Bin No 2
The Royal Shakespeare Company
Alton Towers
Staffordshire
ST10 4DB
Theatre
Carol Sweet-Murdoch of How for Now productions is casting the upcoming West End transfer of the Richard III musical: HUNCH!
The original cast from the Baron’s Court theatre are all unavailable for the West End run, so all parts are available.
Richard Late 30’s - 60’s. King of England, deformed, vicious, conniving, vituperative, psychotic but with an edge. Must be able to reach a top D, and have good salsa skills. Ability to play a Ukulele an advantage, but not necessary. Good role.
The Hunch - early 40s. An actor is needed to play Richard’s hunch in a crucial dream sequence. We’re looking for an actor with a hunchy feel. Tap skills an advantage, as well as a deep, fruity voice.
Clarence - 40’s. Simple. Plain. Clarence.
Al Pacino - 50’s. In the climax of the piece, Richard is slain by Al Pacino using only his intensity. This actor also doubles as Warwick.
Please send all details to How for Now productions in the next 4 minutes.
Fringe
THE SIX O’CLOCK NEWS has been performed live at the Union Theatre, Southwark for the last 15 years, and always needs new newsreaders.
It’s kickstarted the television news careers of Peter Sissons, Moira Stewart, Nick Owen and Peter Snow. Please write to Adrian Chiles at the Union for more details.
It’s kickstarted the television news careers of Peter Sissons, Moira Stewart, Nick Owen and Peter Snow. Please write to Adrian Chiles at the Union for more details.
Theatre
TOSS OFF WILL YA!? Is a spectacularly embarrassing TIE Production, which has the sole purpose of reducing starstruck actors to piles of gibbering self-doubt, and tears.
Aimed at violent teenagers in the worst schools in the country, 3 actors are needed to bring the taboo subject of masturbation to troubled teenagers in a sincere, fun and accessible way.
Utilising arts such as shadow puppetry, close harmony singing, Elizabethan dance and rap, actors must be willing to look a room of malevolent teenage boys in the face and tell them how to dance the dance of self love in an appropriate and earnest way. Clean driving license and a “can do!” attitude are essential.
Aimed at violent teenagers in the worst schools in the country, 3 actors are needed to bring the taboo subject of masturbation to troubled teenagers in a sincere, fun and accessible way.
Utilising arts such as shadow puppetry, close harmony singing, Elizabethan dance and rap, actors must be willing to look a room of malevolent teenage boys in the face and tell them how to dance the dance of self love in an appropriate and earnest way. Clean driving license and a “can do!” attitude are essential.
Student Film
Director Mark Shoe is looking for men and women in their late 30’s for his student film WINDOWS OF THE SOUL.
The action takes place in a busy IT company, where Mike falls hopelessly in love with the sheer aesthetic beauty and uncompromising usability of Windows XP Professional Edition.
Rather than be ashamed, he goes on a one-man mission to educate the world that real love can exist between human and software beyond snide remarks about floppy disks and hard drives.
However their relationship is doomed as Windows encounters an error and has to close.
No pay, but sandwiches and a copy of the final film will be available.
The action takes place in a busy IT company, where Mike falls hopelessly in love with the sheer aesthetic beauty and uncompromising usability of Windows XP Professional Edition.
Rather than be ashamed, he goes on a one-man mission to educate the world that real love can exist between human and software beyond snide remarks about floppy disks and hard drives.
However their relationship is doomed as Windows encounters an error and has to close.
No pay, but sandwiches and a copy of the final film will be available.
Film
THE BOOKCASE OF ARTHUR MOUSE is an independent feature being made by London based company Funny Peculiar Productions.
When normally mild mannered crime writer, Arthur Mouse goes AWOL in his local Budgens, local detective Geoff Fert (played by Jimi Mistry) begins to suspect he might be possessed of Beelzebub himself.
Several parts are still available.
ROBBIE - Late 20's to early 80's, Geoff's best friend and purveyor of rare antiquities, herbal remedies and comedy bandages.
CAROL - Late 30's to early 40's, Geoff's wife and accountant. Must be able to play a portable musical instrument.
ARTHUR MOUSE - Mid 50's, everyman and hero of the story. He is attractive and yet repulsive, with blonde hair and eyes which say "look over there". No pay on this one, but will make an excellent showreel. Send details to casting director Suzy Muffin at her office.
When normally mild mannered crime writer, Arthur Mouse goes AWOL in his local Budgens, local detective Geoff Fert (played by Jimi Mistry) begins to suspect he might be possessed of Beelzebub himself.
Several parts are still available.
ROBBIE - Late 20's to early 80's, Geoff's best friend and purveyor of rare antiquities, herbal remedies and comedy bandages.
CAROL - Late 30's to early 40's, Geoff's wife and accountant. Must be able to play a portable musical instrument.
ARTHUR MOUSE - Mid 50's, everyman and hero of the story. He is attractive and yet repulsive, with blonde hair and eyes which say "look over there". No pay on this one, but will make an excellent showreel. Send details to casting director Suzy Muffin at her office.
Film
TIM BURTON is working on his new project tentitively titled TIM BURTON’S STYLE OVER CONTENT.
The film will consist of curly landscapes, wonky houses, Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham-Carter in prosthetics and run about 20 minutes too long. We'll let you know when we hear any more developments.
The film will consist of curly landscapes, wonky houses, Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham-Carter in prosthetics and run about 20 minutes too long. We'll let you know when we hear any more developments.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
